I refuse to pigeon- hole myself, but I’ve enjoyed getting back to my initial focus for this blog, “relationship marketing.” I returned to this focus primarily because I was beginning to see a theme and I didn’t want to fall into the trap of becoming one of those annoying Gen Y Bloggers. (The ones that make my bi-monthly top 10 list aren’t annoying of course.)
Why did I write about social media? Because those tools made it easier to connect and build relationships.
Why did I write about Gen Y? Because that was the demographic group I typically most readily identified with.
Since the transition I have written and vlogged a few posts about connecting with others in a peer-to-peer networking sense. I’ve written about connecting with customers. I even gave you 25 ways to bolster your own relationship marketing efforts. One of the things I had neglected to discuss was internal relationship marketing. That’s why I asked Jake to write about connecting with employees.
I’ve turned over a lot of stones, but one I have neglected to this point is about the people that most of us encounter every single day: co-workers.
[Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash]
6 Ways to Build Better Relationships with Co-Workers
1.) Share what you learn.
Why do companies and universities value diversity? Because it provides a wide range of knowledge and experience that people can teach one another. We all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences. That’s true and most of us get that. A lot of this we kind of learn intuitively but share it anyway. What I’m really getting at, though, is much simpler: Share the stuff that crosses in front of you every day.
If I read something of value in my reader I try to make a conscious effort to pass it on to everyone else. If you read a book and a few quotes and/or significant points stand out jot them down, type them up, and e-mail them to your co-workers. It might take you 10 extra minutes, and provide the insight and value to really make a difference. Keeping all that insight to yourself is selfish.
2.) Collaborate on projects.
This is especially true of Millennials who are used to working together in groups their entire lives in school. Hell, my entire graduate school experience felt like group work. Sure, sometimes it’s better to bury your head and knock a report out, but the saying “Two heads is better than one,” is usually true.
Brainstorming in a group and letting the ideas build off one another has been a particularly valuable strategy for me. What if the target audience you’re trying to reach is Mommy bloggers and sports enthusiasts? Chances are the Mom will get more traction with the Mommy bloggers crowd and the college athlete will have more luck with the sports people. Some people are ridiculously creative, others are strategic left-brains, combine efforts to execute both aspects of a project.
3.) Review documents for each other.
How many times have you been staring at the same document for an hour and you just can’t get over the hump? How many times is one sentence incredibly awkward and you know that one of your co-workers could fix it in a second? Some people are scared to ask. Others will say they’re in the middle of something, or give you the impression that it’s just not their responsibility.
I’m glad I don’t work with people like that. If I’m sending out an important document, I get my peers to make sure it sounds good, that there aren’t any glaring gaps, and that it would make sense to our clients. Today I even asked someone to read over a comment I was going to post on a blog. It’s a small task, it will usually only take a few minutes, help your co-workers out.
4.) Go to Happy Hour.
Don’t get drunk and obnoxious at happy hour, but your office should have one. It’s nice to get to know each other outside of the office. When you learn that your office administrator’s husband is in a band, or that your boss likes to smoke cigars it helps build camaraderie. You start to see that sometimes you have stuff in common aside from working the same 9-5.
Some people employees don’t like discussing business at happy hour. I respect that. Our office usually doesn’t if everyone goes out, but if it’s only a few of us sometimes somebody will say, “You remember how …… happened? What if we would have done ….. to combat that?” The next thing you know you’re coming up with brilliant business ideas because you’re just having fun and there’s no pressure, you’re not confined to the way your brain works at the office.
5.) Really get to know each other.
Going to happy hour helps, but there’s more to it than that. You need to really pay attention to your co-workers, like a coach would his team, so that you know how to approach everyone, and how they operate in general on a day to day basis. For example, maybe you don’t talk to Bridget before she’s had her morning coffee. Maybe there’s no consoling Rocky once he’s riled up. Talk to him after he’s calmed back down. Don’t argue with Stan unless you have facts carved into the Tabula Rasa because he’s usually right, and when he’s not he can probably wear you down anyway.
Understanding the dichotomy of the people you work with makes the office a more pleasant place. It also lets your co-workers know that you’ve taken the time to understand, and that you care enough to try and do the things that work best for everyone involved.
6.) I saved this one for you guys. How do you develop better relationships with your co-workers?
Admittedly, I haven’t been in the “real-world” work force for very long. These are just things that seemed to have worked for me thus far, but I certainly don’t have all the answers. Not even close. Our office is predominantly very young. What are strategies do you use to connect to older co-workers? Younger co-workers? How do you deal with the people who hide out in their cubicle, if at all? How do you deal with the office jerk? The water cooler snob?
Use the comments section to increase the value of this post. After all, this blog wouldn’t be here without all of you!
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This blog started primarily as a marketing blog, but now I write much more about work/life, social psychology, health and happiness. I will also continue to explore top performers (authors, entrepreneurs, business leaders and more) and dissect what we can take away to be top performers in our own work and personal lives.
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#4 is the most important one, no joke. There are probably a lot of people who subscribe to the “I keep work at work” mentality. But getting to know your co-workers after they’ve had two drinks can really help the company’s energy level during the day. If co-workers learn to genuinely like each other, it makes things so much easier and more sustainable.
@Charlie – I think #5 is probably the most important (of these 5) in my mind, but I think #4 can contribute and play a big role in #5. Other than that, I completely agree. I think if you like the people you work with it is so much easier to execute on the job.
Ryan,
Great post! I’ve enjoyed all of your posts, but it’s good to see you writing about something you feel so passionate about. What I like about this one is that it is about communicating with co-workers, but you can use these ideas out of that context to connect with anyone.
I think it’s important to connect with people, kind of realize that they’re human, and I think that’s especially important at work. These are people with whom you’ll naturally form relationships with — one way or another — because of the amount of time you spend together. I’ve been in situations where you go to work, do your job, and go home. Luckily, I’ve had more experience with positions where there were trust and relationships among employees — where we could be social, where real friendships formed. I think that these relationships might be necessary for productivity and, honestly, just overall enjoyment of a workplace. You don’t have to love your job, but you can, and I think your coworkers play a part.
Your ideas are great ways to start connecting and making that happen. Great job, thanks for the post!
@Susan – I LOVE your comments. You’re 100% right in that many of these can be used to connect with anyone. I think that liking your co-workers helps you like your job, which invariably helps you be better at it.
In fact, I think liking the people you work with MIGHT be more important than liking the work you do.
This is a handy post for young workers who are new to the workforce. I liked the way you avoided mentioning navigating office politics and replacing it with the getting to know your co-workers. It takes the (sometimes nonsensical) bureaucracy in office work. I’d like to add that people shouldn’t be afraid to go to lunch with different co-workers. That’s one way to bond with them and get to know their perspective. This is especially good when you a fellow coworker is deemed “difficult.”
Thanks for the link love by the way…
I’d even take going to lunch with different co-workers a step further and encourage people to go to lunch with people outside their discipline. Forming cross disciplinary relationships can lead to the fruition of new ideas that could really impact your organization.
These tips are great, especially for young people first starting out in the working world. Unfortunately, our ability to put any or all of these into practice really depends on what kind of company we work for, and the people with whom we work. For example, my organization only has four people who work in our office. One is a young mother with a preschool aged son; one is a middle aged widow who spends a lot of time in the office; one is a middle aged man who travels a lot for business and to see his kids and grandkids. We’re not very close because we’re so different, and we lead different lives. We also come from different places in terms of how we get things done and the way we work.
That being said, when I continue on in my career, a work environment that encourages the things you suggest is definitely something I will be looking for in a place of employment.
I could see where it could be challenging in a smaller office environment with very diverse co-workers; however, it could still be beneficial to learn how different generations approach their work. Being able to adjust your work and interactions to accommodate co-workers can go along way in cultivating stronger relationships with co-workers.
Everyone has a role, and knowing the nuances of each person can certainly amplify the entire office experience.
I love these tips, Ryan! A positive, engaging work environment is at the top of my priority list for my job search. I’ve been lucky enough to have built amazing relationships with co-workers at my jobs in college, and I definitely want to build that kind of rapport with co-workers in the “real world.”
For No. 6: Bring in baked goods/comfort food/candy every so often. (It’s even better if you can turn it into a bake-off.)
The only caveat to #6 that I’ve learned is too keep the baked goods/candy away from the soon-to-be-married females. That do not appreciate the temptation. HA!
Thanks for sharing your insights Michelle. We spend so much time at work that often times having great relationships with co-workers can pick you up, energize you, inspire you, and often times have more impact on your happiness than the work itself.
I agree with your philosophy of cultivating relationships at work. We are there usually more hours than we are at home so we really should try to make our relationships ones that we enjoy.
well i enjoyed this post very much – since all these said above is the real truth in the work environment! And i do my own comments, how you can co operate or work in the same company without knowing the people and their culture – the way they work, their knowledge or their expertise for some particular tasks! How you can work with some people not knowing about their feelings for life! not knowing anything about common targets to be satisfied within the company for mutual benefit! how to have or create a common vision for the integration within the same company! Well i am working with three thousand persons and i know all of them very well. i speak with them at least once every three months, i know their feelings about life, about the company,about their personal visions, i know even their children and some times the football team that they support! I don’t have simply relationships with these people – i just love these people for supporting each other in a common daily battle to give our customers the excellent service they want and expect from us! I love these people because we belong in the same team, the team that above all has values and sets targets for accomplishment! Thanks all of you very much.